This is my first post, but hopefully not my best. Spent yesterday at the Timberwolves / Knicks game and what a mess that was. I usually go to 5-10 games a year, but this year haven't been at all yet. I got the best seats I've ever had on EBay (gotta love EBay). We were in the fifth row, and two seats from the cheerleaders (which I do not recommend more below). They are really hot and make it very hard to concentrate on the game. I think the most accurate description of them would be "about this far (holding my thumb and forefinger about 1 inch apart) from the stripper pole". Well my wife caught me looking at them several times, and before the game I took a picture with three of them (she took the picture herself).

As soon as they came out I let out an "Oh Boy" like I had Tourettes' syndrome. Then we had this exchange:
Me: Sarcasticly "Oh great, the busty one is right in front of us."
Wife: "She has a big nose, she's not even pretty."
Me: [Silence] then, "This is gonna be trouble".
Wife: "Where's the one with the curly hair?" She knows I hve the hots for her
Me: "Krisann, she's not on the team this year"
Wife: "You know her name, and you've been on the internet looking at the dance team?"
Me:[Taking off shoe and hitting myself with it] "Uh yeah."






Which made me think of a couple lines from Cocktail
Brian Flanagan: This isn't going to end well.
Doug Coughlin: Nothing ends well or else it wouldn't end.



She does have a big uh nose...

I made several more mistakes of commenting on the cheerleaders like how one had make-up on the small of her back covering a tattoo, tried to make up for it by saying stuff like "you would look just as good in those pleather pants as she does". She would say stuff like "They're not dancing together", or "Her hair isn't naturally curly [like mine]".

Well, we were also right by where the home team enters the arena from the locker room. My wife wanted to video the players as they came in and so she just stood up right by our seats (she has the hots for KG so we’re even right?). We had gotten a beer for me (gotta go with a king can when you can, but disappointedly, the poured it into a plastic cup) and a Hard Lemonade for the Wife. Well I was standing by my seat drinking my beer, and my Wife's drink was on the floor. The seats were huge, which was the first thing I noticed as I am a pretty tall man, with long legs and I am usually cramped into stadium seats.

Of course some guy comes walking through our row and spills my Wifes' drink (he happens to be in the back of this picture in the tan jacket). My only job while she was over doing the video was to watch her drink. Mission unaccomplished. So as I am pondering whether to go buy her another one before the game starts, he is really embarassed and offers to buy another one. Nice gesture, hey Minnesota people are nice. So finally the players come out to warm up. If you have not been following the Timberwolves this year, KG is increasingly getting frustrated with the team's subpar play. We made a trade not long ago sending Wally Szczerbiak, and the immutable Michael Olowokandi, in the all time "worst last names" trade to the Celtics for Mark Blount (as in "Let's smoke a blunt after the game"), Ricky Davis (good off the dribble, decent jumpshot, moron on defense more on this later), and Marcus Banks (no opinion on him yet).

So Kevin has this look on his face as if at any time he could pull out a gun and start blowing away his teammates. As he comes through the tunnel, there are 25 or so little kids in blue shirts lined up to give him five as he walks in. But he doesn't even touch them; he puts his hands behind his back so they can't touch him. As he warms up and plays throughout the game make no mistake he is going 100% or close to it (I hate when people say they go 110% because that is impossible, by the way). But his heart just isn't into it, that look is still on his face.



One of the highlights was a fan in the first row ripping on Marbury (who got booed in introductions by the way) and him just laughing and joking with him. Couldn't hear what they were saying but He at least looked like he was having fun out there. Another is that the Knicks now have Jalen Rose and Mo Taylor who were part of the Michigan monster team called "the fab five". You would think any team with two of the fab five what was what 14 years ago, would suck (Unless you are Isaiah Thomas). Anyway my confusion when Rose pulled down a rebound right in front of us and I thought to myself "Jalen has really put on a lot of weight he's almost as big as Taylor now" before realizing it was Malik Rose, another average player with a big salary on the Knicks. OK the Twolves are ahead by 25 in the third quarter so we are on cruise control. The subs are all in and we look terrible. So not only do our starters suck, we have no bench either. I have to say I picked this game to go to because we were playing against Marbury and because I thought we could win. Then came the inevitable comeback by the Knicks, led by who Marbury? Steve Francis? No, someone named Lee who I had never heard of led it. Not with points, but with hustle, he and KG were the only ones near the 100% effort mark that day. They claw their way back within 4 points with only a few seconds remaining. Previously the Knicks were fouling us intentionally to get the ball back. So we shoot with like 30 seconds left as the shot clock expires and [Taylor?] gets the rebound and there are two Timberwolves harassing him as I yell, "don't foul". Even a 10 year old would know not to put them on the line when we have the lead! And guess who is called with the foul? Yes Ricky Davis. I'm gonna hate that guy worse than Szczerbiak. Well they finally pull out a win, good thing too or KG might have put the law into his own hands. As Ice Cube says "I didn’t even have to use my AK, I gotta say it was a good day".