Greatest Sports Names

As some of you who know my real name know, I have a rather uncommon first name. So when I see an odd name it really sticks with me. Here is a list of my ten favorite names I can think of in sports. And by sport, I am going to include cheerleading, because, well you’ll see. Here they are in no particular order.



Ivana Mandic former Basketball player for UNC Charlotte I think. OK if you didn’t get it try reading it again s-l-o-w-e-r and like Ivan Drago, and out loud especially if you’re at work. I went to high school with someone named Mandyck, and this one is even funnier if you pronounce it “I Wanna Man Dyke”.




Howard Johnson Hey it’s a hotel. Therefore one of the best nicknames in sports HoJo. It always makes me laugh when someone has a first name that is a city or car, it always makes me think the parents conceived the child there, and they think it's some kind of secret. Hey everybody knows you got pregnant in the back seat of a Mercedes, is that what you want people to think? Hojo also reminds me of a girl I went to high school with, her last name was Ho and she is a lesbian, go figure. Well I guess she wants a mandyke too. Random it’s a small world note: She was the Niece of Don Ho.



Albert Pujoles (pronounced Poo Holes) Yes that’s right he’s a proctologist straight out of a Seinfeld episode. In the greatest shocker, in compiling this list, he is married and she took his last name! I would give $200 to hear the conversation they had when she decided to take his name. I mean there had to be a conversation right? And what about their three kids (well their first had Downs and he isn’t the father, but the other two...), talk about getting beat up every day. Even if your dad is in the bigs, you still gotta take your lumps with a name like poo holes.






Larisa and Marisa Ok so that’s two, and their names aren’t even funny, but does everyone know that the twin barrier has been broken in professional cheerleading? Whay hasn’t there been more on this, why do I have to find this out by creepily looking at the cheer web sites? Here is a new rule, anytime you can have twin cheerleaders on your team, you have to take them. Just like ever time the Bucks get a first round draft pick they have to waste it on a 7 footer who can’t jump rope.





Coco Crisp Enourmously funny, although there was never a cereal called Cocoa Crisp (copyright Sports Guy Intern wanna-be last Year), Believe It Or Not. Yes there was Cocoa Wheat, Cocoa Puffs, and Sugar Crisp but no Cocoa Crisp. By the way, we all agree that The Sugar Bear from Sugar Crisp was always high right?















Brieanna Daddio From the first name misspelled Brie instead of Bri to the whole name sounding like a strip club act, this one is a classic.


















Fennis Dembo of Wyoming University once beat Reggie Miller and the Bruins in the NCAA tournament almost single handedly scoring 41 points as a junior in a 78-68 victory. It was a #12 seed over a #4 seed back when teams were actually good in college; 1987. Fennis actually went on to win a ring in his only NBA season for the Pistons in 1989, something Reggie would never do in all his years in the NBA. And anyone who can stick it to Reggie like that, well we love ya. And for all you Women’s Basketball haters out there, the great Reggie Miller used to lose to his sister Cheryl Miller in 1 on 1 when they were in college!














Ashton Youboty, Ohio State Here’s my token new name. I don’t know anything about this guy except Mel Kiper has him going in the late first round of the NFL draft to Seattle. Maybe he’ll follow in Fennis Dembo’s footsteps and win a championship his first year as a pro.










World B. Free In a move of pure genius, he was the only player I know of to legally change his name to his basketball nickname. He was a flamboyant player in the days of “Iceman” George Gervin and “Doctor J”. I mean can you imagine Michael Jordan changing his first name to “Air” or even Gary Payton changing his name to “Glove”. These people take themselves way too seriously. Unfortunately he was not smart enough to shave his head when he went bald.










Holly Baack I’m speechless. It’s so timely... this name should never be forgotten. Could she have been the inspiration for the song?