I happened to be looking at two different articles and noticed that The Vikings and Timberwolves have had the same number of coaches, even though the Vikings have been around 28 years longer.

First the Vikings

Vikings Coaches



Norm VanBrocklin (1961-1966) – I am too young to remember him (wasn’t even born yet), he did make the hall of fame as a player . He compiled a record of (29-51-4) for the Vikings expansion team. Mostly known for fighting with Fran Tarkenton.




Bud Grant (1967-1983, 1985) – Hall of Famer, what else can you say. The guy was a great leader, took his teams to 4 super bowls. His only knock, of course, they lost all four. Like almost all Viking teams I’ve had to endure, they had a great regular season, Grant’s teams winning the division 11 times, but never quite get all the way. Although Grant would get closer than any other. (reg season 158-96-5 playoffs 10-13).



Les Steckel (1984) – Famous for instituting a hell week like no other in franchise history drawing from his experiences in the Marines. Players almost unanimously hated him, and the team sucked. Bud Grant, I think, had to come out of retirement to rescue the team before the season was even over but wikipedia has his record listed as (3-13).


Jerry Burns – (1986-1991) Cranky old man, but players loved him. He had a famous press conference where he cursed like a sailor here’s the gist of it “As long as I am the coach Bob Schnelker is the F!@#in Offensive Coordinator”. Very knowledgeable, originator of the West Coast Offense. I remember him being a good game day coach (unlike all of his followers). Random it’s a small world note: My wife lived in the same dorm as his daughter and she wasn’t a drunk. I always pictured Burnsie sitting in a messy office drinking a fifth of whiskey yelling at the video of their latest playoff failure. (reg season 52-43 playoffs 3-3).


Dennis Green (1992 – 2001) A human cartoon. Between his squeaky voice, varying weight and confounding quotes it was hard to take him seriously as a fan. In spite of these physical failings, has a super hot wife, proving that most women are money grubbing harlots. Using the 1-10 scale lets put Dennis Green up to the test. Player relationships and motivation 9, press relationships and fans 1, game day coach 1. That about sums it up. He had excellent players abound him and coordinators like Brian Billick in 1998 and Tony Dungy from 1992 – 1995. Once they moved on to other head coaching positions, there was no gas in the tank. His career should have been over in the final minutes of the 1998 season when he took a knee rather than use his offense to try and score (the game was tied) with an offense that had broken most records including points scored. He has no cahones. The emboldened Falcons of course won the game. He was fired mid season in 2001. (reg season 108-83 playoffs 4-8).


Mike Tice – (2001-2005) Taking over before the 2001 season was over, he was refreshing to fans and the media alike, with his quick wit plus his accent sounds like Bugs Bunny. Unfortunately he was unable to keep reigns on Randy Moss (maybe no-one ever will) and his coordinators were in and out like a plate of Curried Fish which doomed him from the beginning. The team hit a new low of off the field problems with the love boat scandal where players allegedly committed sex acts on dancers flown in from “Hotlanta”. He advanced to the playoffs just once getting to the second round. Random it’s a small world note: my brother had him for a Jr. High Gym teacher. (reg season 32-33 playoffs 1-1).


Brad Childress – We don’t know much about him yet except that he did the absolute opposite of what Mike Tice did. He got rid of all the old regime including Daunte Culpepper (and Moss was already gone). We’ll have to see if that strategy will work. Plus he has a great porm mustache, so he must have at least some cahones. What could go wrong. My wife and I both think he is a twin separated at birth from Michael Jeeter, known to us as the clown in Air Bud, you may know him as Mr. Noodles on Elmo, or any one of 50 other random TV shows or Movies he has been in.

Timberwolves coaches coming soon...

This is my first post, but hopefully not my best. Spent yesterday at the Timberwolves / Knicks game and what a mess that was. I usually go to 5-10 games a year, but this year haven't been at all yet. I got the best seats I've ever had on EBay (gotta love EBay). We were in the fifth row, and two seats from the cheerleaders (which I do not recommend more below). They are really hot and make it very hard to concentrate on the game. I think the most accurate description of them would be "about this far (holding my thumb and forefinger about 1 inch apart) from the stripper pole". Well my wife caught me looking at them several times, and before the game I took a picture with three of them (she took the picture herself).

As soon as they came out I let out an "Oh Boy" like I had Tourettes' syndrome. Then we had this exchange:
Me: Sarcasticly "Oh great, the busty one is right in front of us."
Wife: "She has a big nose, she's not even pretty."
Me: [Silence] then, "This is gonna be trouble".
Wife: "Where's the one with the curly hair?" She knows I hve the hots for her
Me: "Krisann, she's not on the team this year"
Wife: "You know her name, and you've been on the internet looking at the dance team?"
Me:[Taking off shoe and hitting myself with it] "Uh yeah."






Which made me think of a couple lines from Cocktail
Brian Flanagan: This isn't going to end well.
Doug Coughlin: Nothing ends well or else it wouldn't end.



She does have a big uh nose...

I made several more mistakes of commenting on the cheerleaders like how one had make-up on the small of her back covering a tattoo, tried to make up for it by saying stuff like "you would look just as good in those pleather pants as she does". She would say stuff like "They're not dancing together", or "Her hair isn't naturally curly [like mine]".

Well, we were also right by where the home team enters the arena from the locker room. My wife wanted to video the players as they came in and so she just stood up right by our seats (she has the hots for KG so we’re even right?). We had gotten a beer for me (gotta go with a king can when you can, but disappointedly, the poured it into a plastic cup) and a Hard Lemonade for the Wife. Well I was standing by my seat drinking my beer, and my Wife's drink was on the floor. The seats were huge, which was the first thing I noticed as I am a pretty tall man, with long legs and I am usually cramped into stadium seats.

Of course some guy comes walking through our row and spills my Wifes' drink (he happens to be in the back of this picture in the tan jacket). My only job while she was over doing the video was to watch her drink. Mission unaccomplished. So as I am pondering whether to go buy her another one before the game starts, he is really embarassed and offers to buy another one. Nice gesture, hey Minnesota people are nice. So finally the players come out to warm up. If you have not been following the Timberwolves this year, KG is increasingly getting frustrated with the team's subpar play. We made a trade not long ago sending Wally Szczerbiak, and the immutable Michael Olowokandi, in the all time "worst last names" trade to the Celtics for Mark Blount (as in "Let's smoke a blunt after the game"), Ricky Davis (good off the dribble, decent jumpshot, moron on defense more on this later), and Marcus Banks (no opinion on him yet).

So Kevin has this look on his face as if at any time he could pull out a gun and start blowing away his teammates. As he comes through the tunnel, there are 25 or so little kids in blue shirts lined up to give him five as he walks in. But he doesn't even touch them; he puts his hands behind his back so they can't touch him. As he warms up and plays throughout the game make no mistake he is going 100% or close to it (I hate when people say they go 110% because that is impossible, by the way). But his heart just isn't into it, that look is still on his face.



One of the highlights was a fan in the first row ripping on Marbury (who got booed in introductions by the way) and him just laughing and joking with him. Couldn't hear what they were saying but He at least looked like he was having fun out there. Another is that the Knicks now have Jalen Rose and Mo Taylor who were part of the Michigan monster team called "the fab five". You would think any team with two of the fab five what was what 14 years ago, would suck (Unless you are Isaiah Thomas). Anyway my confusion when Rose pulled down a rebound right in front of us and I thought to myself "Jalen has really put on a lot of weight he's almost as big as Taylor now" before realizing it was Malik Rose, another average player with a big salary on the Knicks. OK the Twolves are ahead by 25 in the third quarter so we are on cruise control. The subs are all in and we look terrible. So not only do our starters suck, we have no bench either. I have to say I picked this game to go to because we were playing against Marbury and because I thought we could win. Then came the inevitable comeback by the Knicks, led by who Marbury? Steve Francis? No, someone named Lee who I had never heard of led it. Not with points, but with hustle, he and KG were the only ones near the 100% effort mark that day. They claw their way back within 4 points with only a few seconds remaining. Previously the Knicks were fouling us intentionally to get the ball back. So we shoot with like 30 seconds left as the shot clock expires and [Taylor?] gets the rebound and there are two Timberwolves harassing him as I yell, "don't foul". Even a 10 year old would know not to put them on the line when we have the lead! And guess who is called with the foul? Yes Ricky Davis. I'm gonna hate that guy worse than Szczerbiak. Well they finally pull out a win, good thing too or KG might have put the law into his own hands. As Ice Cube says "I didn’t even have to use my AK, I gotta say it was a good day".